RodeoAttitude
Super Administrator
Posts: 543
Registered: 7/1/05
Location: Maxwell, Iowa
Member Is Offline
Mood: No Mood
|
|
Favorite Blonde Joke
A blonde boarded a plane and preceeded to take a seat in First Class. The attentant told her she could not sit there and needed to go back to the
other section of the plane. The blonde just looked at her and said, "I'm blonde and I am going to Miami."
After several attempts to explain to her she must move the attentant asked the co-pilot for help. Once again the blonde gave him the response, "I'm
blonde and I am going to Miami." Just then the pilot walked by and asked what the problem was.
"This lady does not have a First Class ticket but everytime I ask her to move she just says, "I'm blonde and I am going to Miami." and refuses to
move.
"Let me talk to her. I am married to a blonde.", the pilot said. He walked up and spoke softly to the lady who got right up and moved to the back of
the plane.
The plane took off and after a while the co-pilot's curiosity got the best of him. "What did you say to that blonde to get her to move?"
"Oh, that was easy. I just told her First Class didn't stop in Miami!"
|
|
|
RodeoCowgirl
Backyard Buckout Champeen
Posts: 69
Registered: 12/3/05
Location: Abilene, Kansas
Member Is Offline
Mood: happily married
|
|
A young blonde was on vacation in the depths of Louisiana. She wanted a pair of genuine alligator shoes in the worst way, but was very reluctant to
pay the high prices the local vendors were asking. After becoming very frustrated with the "no haggle" attitude of one of the shopkeepers, the blonde
shouted, "Maybe I'll just go out and catch my own alligator so I can get a pair of shoes at a reasonable price!"
The shopkeeper said, "By all means, be my guest. Maybe you'll luck out and catch yourself a big one!"
Determined, the blonde turned and headed for the swamps, set on catching herself an alligator.
Later in the day, the shopkeeper was driving home, when he spotted the young woman standing waist deep in the water, shotgun in hand. Just then, he
saw a huge 9-foot alligator swimming quickly toward her.
She took aim, killed the creature, and with a great deal of effort hauled it on to the swamp bank. Lying nearby were several more of the dead
creatures. The shopkeeper watched in amazement. Just then the blonde flipped the alligator on its back, and frustrated, shouts out, "Darn, this one
isn't wearing any shoes either!"
Don\'t be afraid to go after what you want to do and what you want to be. But don\'t be afraid to be willing to pay the price. - Lane Frost
Tell me that i can\'t do it. Tell me that i shouldn\'t even try. Tell me
it\'s impossible. Tell me the risk is too high, the challenge too much, or the feat too tough. Tell me that i
won\'t do it, and i will. SAYiWON\'T
~Hannah West
|
|
|
dustinetter
Regional Finalist Champeen
Posts: 258
Registered: 12/4/05
Location: Clio
Member Is Offline
Mood: No Mood
|
|
As a North Bay trucker stops for a red light on Hwy.
> 11, a blonde catches up. She jumps out of her car,
> runs up to his truck, and knocks on the door.
>
> The trucker lowers the window, and she says, "Hi, my
> name is Heather, and you are losing some of your
> load!"
>
>
>
> The trucker ignores her and proceeds down the
> street. When the truck stops for another red light,
> the girl catches up again. She jumps out of her car
> runs up and knocks on the door. Again, the trucker
> lowers the window.
>
> As if they've never spoken, the blonde says
> brightly, "Hi, my name is Heather, and you are
> losing some of your load!"
>
>
>
> Shaking his head, the trucker ignores her again and
> continues down the street. At the third red light,
> the same thing happens again. All out of breath, the
> blonde gets out of her car, runs up, knocks on the
> truck door.
>
> The trucker lowers the window. Again she says, "Hi,
> my name is Heather, and you are losing some of your
> load!"
>
>
>
> When the light turns green the trucker revs up and
> races to the next light
>
> When he stops this time, he hurriedly gets out of
> the truck, and runs back to the blonde. He knocks on
> her window, and as she lowers it, he says,"Hi, my
> name is Kevin, it's winter in CANADA, and I'm
> driving the frigging SALT TRUCK. LOL
|
|
|
dustinetter
Regional Finalist Champeen
Posts: 258
Registered: 12/4/05
Location: Clio
Member Is Offline
Mood: No Mood
|
|
those are good...
  
|
|
|
mary
Rookie
Posts: 15
Registered: 12/8/05
Location: cali
Member Is Offline
Mood: Grinnin like a fool!
|
|
haha, i havent heard that joke about the salt truck before..that was a good one!!
|
|
|
hoodslidinlikeboduke
Backyard Buckout Champeen
Posts: 56
Registered: 12/7/05
Location: Kansas
Member Is Offline
|
|
A blonde finds herself in serious trouble. Her business has gone bust and she's in dire financial straits. She's so deserate that she decides to ask
God for help.
She begins to pray...."God, please help me. I've lost my business and if I don't get some money, I'm going to lose my house as well. Please let me
win the lottery."
Lottery night comes and somebody else wins.
She again, prays..."God! Please let me win the lottery! I've lost my business, my house and I'm going to lose my car as well."
Lottery night comes again and she still has no luck.
Once again, she prays..."GOD!! Why have you forsaken me?? I've lost my business, my house, and my car! My children are starving. I don't often ask
You for help, and I've always been a good servant to You. Please let me win the lottery just this one time so I can get my life back in order."
Suddenly, there is a blinding flash of light as the heavens open! The blonde is overwhelmed by the voice of God himself!
God speaks these words: "Sweetheart, work with me on this......buy a ticket."
Haha got that from a good friend of mine. Strange, though, how it can apply to real life...Sometimes we don't realize we need to "buy that ticket"
before the Lord can bless us...
God bless,
Trish
Psalm 115:1. Proverbs 3:5-6. Romans 8:38-39. Galatians 2:20.
It\'s not what you say to a horse that\'s important. It\'s how you say it.
If you don\'t think you\'re gonna die by the time you round that first barrel, you ain\'t goin\' fast enough!
SAYiWON\'T
A girl should be so hidden in God that the boy has to search God just to find her!
\"Bravo, monsieur. Such spirited words!\"
|
|
|
FAN
Rookie
Posts: 16
Registered: 12/5/05
Member Is Offline
|
|
how do you drown a blonde?
|
|
|
hoodslidinlikeboduke
Backyard Buckout Champeen
Posts: 56
Registered: 12/7/05
Location: Kansas
Member Is Offline
|
|
Put a scratch & sniff sticker at the bottom of a pool...eh, FAN? lol
Psalm 115:1. Proverbs 3:5-6. Romans 8:38-39. Galatians 2:20.
It\'s not what you say to a horse that\'s important. It\'s how you say it.
If you don\'t think you\'re gonna die by the time you round that first barrel, you ain\'t goin\' fast enough!
SAYiWON\'T
A girl should be so hidden in God that the boy has to search God just to find her!
\"Bravo, monsieur. Such spirited words!\"
|
|
|
dustinetter
Regional Finalist Champeen
Posts: 258
Registered: 12/4/05
Location: Clio
Member Is Offline
Mood: No Mood
|
|
| Quote: | Originally posted by hoodslidinlikeboduke
A blonde finds herself in serious trouble. Her business has gone bust and she's in dire financial straits. She's so deserate that she decides to ask
God for help.
She begins to pray...."God, please help me. I've lost my business and if I don't get some money, I'm going to lose my house as well. Please let me
win the lottery."
Lottery night comes and somebody else wins.
She again, prays..."God! Please let me win the lottery! I've lost my business, my house and I'm going to lose my car as well."
Lottery night comes again and she still has no luck.
Once again, she prays..."GOD!! Why have you forsaken me?? I've lost my business, my house, and my car! My children are starving. I don't often ask
You for help, and I've always been a good servant to You. Please let me win the lottery just this one time so I can get my life back in order."
Suddenly, there is a blinding flash of light as the heavens open! The blonde is overwhelmed by the voice of God himself!
God speaks these words: "Sweetheart, work with me on this......buy a ticket."
Haha got that from a good friend of mine. Strange, though, how it can apply to real life...Sometimes we don't realize we need to "buy that ticket"
before the Lord can bless us...
God bless,
Trish |
haha, trish, that is good. and very true....
|
|
|
FAN
Rookie
Posts: 16
Registered: 12/5/05
Member Is Offline
|
|
NO. A MIRROR
|
|
|
hoodslidinlikeboduke
Backyard Buckout Champeen
Posts: 56
Registered: 12/7/05
Location: Kansas
Member Is Offline
|
|
Eh, I was close, FAN...lol. and yeah, Dustin I think so!! hehe.
God bless,
Trish
Psalm 115:1. Proverbs 3:5-6. Romans 8:38-39. Galatians 2:20.
It\'s not what you say to a horse that\'s important. It\'s how you say it.
If you don\'t think you\'re gonna die by the time you round that first barrel, you ain\'t goin\' fast enough!
SAYiWON\'T
A girl should be so hidden in God that the boy has to search God just to find her!
\"Bravo, monsieur. Such spirited words!\"
|
|
|
dustinetter
Regional Finalist Champeen
Posts: 258
Registered: 12/4/05
Location: Clio
Member Is Offline
Mood: No Mood
|
|
haha....
|
|
|
jal1
Backyard Buckout Champeen
Posts: 57
Registered: 12/6/05
Member Is Offline
|
|
Two blonds were standing on opposite sides of a lake. One yells to the other "How do you get to the other side of the lake?" The other one replies
"Don't worry, you're already there!"
|
|
|
bearlracer2
Rookie
Posts: 3
Registered: 2/9/06
Member Is Offline
|
|
hahah those are funny......3 girls were stranded on a island 20 miles away from land. The black hair gets tired of being there so she swims 3miles
gets tired and swims back. The brown says the same thing she swims 5 miles gets tired and swims back. And then the blond says ive had enough, she
swims 10 miles get tired and swims back. They all ask her how far she went she said i swam 10 miles but i was getting really tired so i sam 10 miles
back. the black said why didnt you just finish swimming 10+10=20 and it is 20 miles back to shore!!!
|
|
|
dustinetter
Regional Finalist Champeen
Posts: 258
Registered: 12/4/05
Location: Clio
Member Is Offline
Mood: No Mood
|
|
lol thats a good one. sounds like a typical blonde jk jk
|
|
|
Tylere
Rookie
Posts: 1
Registered: 11/12/09
Member Is Offline
|
|
I agree that sounds a typical blonde..haha..Cheers
Regards
Tylere
_____
dossier surendettement
|
|
|
![[*]](images/xp/default_icon.gif){kind=icon}
